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Gabe causese Griff to blow a late lead against Pain

Gabriel Treesh put in the worst Ultimate performance of all time in a tough loss to Royal Pain. He caused Griff to repeatedly throw the disc straight into TJ's hand or out of bounds. He also caused Dan West to be taller than any healthy player for the Big Bad Discs Poppin' Cherries. Allissia's shorts also caused Gabe to make other players distracted throughout the game. Gabe even caused JKim to arrive to kick start Royal Pain's late 6-1 run.

Yo Momma's So Dumb, the Royal Gangstas stabbed Gang Green in a shoot-out!

Pumped up and ready to fly, Dragon and the Painful Posse stared Gang Green (minus Scott Paulick) down nearly touching eyelashes because the fields were so short. The city had gone wrong along with the swine flu and there stood the Vicious Blue Bunny, ready to give Gang Green their Painicilin.

It was announced a few days before the game that superstar, TJ, one of the two Asians from Rock Stock (JKim), Tony, Zack, and Greg would be MIA. The news brought a lot of pain--royally--to the Vicious Blue Bunny.. But as Royal Pain! gathered together for their weekly secret ritual, they found that the skies had dropped them a nice gift: Jeremy Kim. Additionally, with the DiPaolos back and ready for action, high spirits broke out and Pain! made the first score.

As the sun went down, and the lights never turned on (freakin City!), the score remained close by a point or two. Everyone kept their cool, but Blue kept it even cooler. Wild applauds made it seem like there was thunder and lightning when females Amanda Gerdeman and Sarah Pain!ter scored three points for Royal Pain!; Matt, Sara, and Damien with their--as always--amazing D's... but it's not a surprise. D is, after all, their last initial.

With Koop, JKim, and newcomer Rob Knox doing some awesome handling, and D-West and Corey playing their deeps like SCUBA diving in the Great Blue Hole in Belize, Pain! was able to take half at 7-4, and with a seemingly better back, Mr. Dan Fantastic West and his gangly arms scored big resulting in a 12-10 win. "Aw, hail!" is what she said.

Mad props to Gang Green members, Heather for her awesome D's, and Beth and Crystal for running their legs out! Special thanks to all who came out. I think the MVP goes out to EVERYONE for playing hard and having dat team spirit, yo.

Matt.... I'd still like to read your special quotes from that game besides the "...Vicious Blue Bunny assuring the Green Midgets a painful game and getting royally....fannihilated" quote.

Royal Pain fights off the New Kids

On a cold spring day, the mighty warriors of Royal Pain, led by Co-captains Dan �Garlic� West and Uzzi �Ninja� Tayag met the powerful � New kids on the Block?

Laugh if you must, but the New Kids jumped out to a 2 � 0 lead, in what Royal superstar TJ referred to as a huck-a-pedia. �Upwind, down wind, cross wind, the kids were letting it fly like a momma duck throw the chicks out of the nest� TJ was quoted as saying after the game. After the initial assault, the Painful man-to-man �No Huck� defense was applied with devastating results, and the Royal Painsters jumped out to a 7 � 3 halftime lead, with the beautiful and athletic Sara �My Husband is a stud!� DiPaolo scoring often, although a couple bonked her on the � chest � and got away.

The second half was a different game, as the New Kids came roaring back with Cobb, Scotty, and Butler singing and dancing down the field with:
�Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
The Right Stuff�

See More >>> for the exciting conclusion to this story ...

Royal Pain can�t beat the Recession � Yet

Royal Pain, predicted by this unbiased author to finish atop the league this season, started quick but could not shake the Recession for their first loss of the season. A high flying Goose, a laser throwing Rook, and a rolling, tumbling, stumbling, tackling (yes, he took me out!) Daryl carried the day in the end. *** On a side note League commissioner LJ tried to get Daryl to choose a darker color shirt at Mandy�s urging (apparently she does the laundry) but he insisted on white!!! Surely Daryl will be looking a little dingy by league end � considering his style of play.

Captain Daniel West�s patented �Garlic Lid� offense showed signs of spark throughout the match, creating waves of fear in the rest of the league as well as the undead community. �We�ve got the dough and we�ve got the butter. Once the team embraces the garlic, we�ve got some damn good garlic bread!!� West was quoted after the game. Royal Pain highlights from the match included scores by all of the Royal pain women, co-captain Uzzi actually seen leaving her feet to make a catch, Damien not getting angry, and some really cool guy in awesome socks making defensive play after defensive play.

Next up for Pain is the Black team. Pain looks to add superstar in the making TJ to the lineup this week, who apparently could not find the field last week. Also, Dan West is upping the ante on the offense. �I�ve brought in the garlic bread, it is now time for the dreaded �Cesear Salad of Doom�� a very spooky West bellowed in a recent interview.

Hurt by Dirt captures Second in a hard fought One Game match

In what many commentators are calling one of the classic battles of this century, Blue edged out the crowd favorite Hurt By Dirt in the closing moments of the one day classic. Dirt was lead heroically by Captain Scotty C. who by all accounts was the best player on the field that night. �Normally you can�t slide a piece of paper under Scotty when he jumps� noted veteran Victor �Show Dog� Kemp, but �today he was out jumping everyone.� Indeed, Scotty�s Herculean effort helped to push the whole team on, with Dirt grabbing an early 7 � 4 lead at the break. �We were all so distracted by Scotty�s Mohawk hairdo, that we forgot about the enormity of the game and just played� recalled Dan �D-Large� large. (Unfortunately, this reporter has learned that Scotty C. looked in the mirror Friday morning, saw what his hair actually looked like, and immediately shaved it off.)

Blue came crashing back in the second half, led by their superstars who are, admittedly by this author, pretty good. It was a seesaw battle as both teams traded shots. Sara �Ironman in training� DiPaolo scored multiple points, including two that bounced off Michael �Shifty� Butler�s hands. ** Butler claims it was part of his plan to get more teammates involved. ** Dirt was given two boosts of adrenaline in the second half. The first, with the return of Lauren �Freestyle� Petit from a grueling 12 hour test in which she answered both sides of the question �To Be, or Not To Be� (she received a B+.) The second, and more shocking, was when all star handler LJ �Crazy Legs� Reeves moved out to the field to Pop. �The offense was getting out of sync and needed a spark� commented LJ �and the way Scotty was jumping, I thought I might catch some of that air.� Sadly, it wasn�t the air, as LJ failed to produce more then an 8 inch vertical jump.

In the end, Blue was able to beat the vaunted Dirty Zone for the winning score. Scotty�s flying wedge, and a high flying Scotty C. himself could not muster enough points to pull through. On two related notes, Matthew �Knee Socks� DiPaolo was held scoreless for the first time this season. Also, Patrick �Jailbird� Gardner, superstar in training, was hobbled by a sore ankle and some sort of �authority conflict.� Dirt is hoping both players with follow Scotty�s lead and step up their game for the season finale.

What's Black, White, and Red all over?!

Orange Crush. Hm...Second-to-last and have only won one game. One more than Rediculous. "This is our chance!" Rediculous thought. Everybody became wide-eyed (except for Uzzi--that's nearly impossible) at the fact that we all thought the same thing.

Rediculous came out on the field with Plan A: Just have fun. We knew we hadn't won ANY games, so it would not have been a surprise to us if we lost this one. Although, when we made the first score, and Gela later came on the field, and even with Rooke's hurting foot that needed a massage from a naked Asian lady, everything changed.

The score was 7-5 (....I totally made that up, but I know we were up by two at some point), and Orange was getting crushed--well, they were getting less than crushed because they were always just a point or two below us. They were close.

Some highlights that I barely saw through my eyes:......... READ MORE -->

Prepare for Glory

Not since the Battle of Thermopylae have so few stood gallantly against so many.

When the call to battle was heard, let it be known that 8 men of Black Sheep were brave enough to answer the call. Having left the women behind to tend to children, pack apartments, and escape to warmer climates on their honeymoon, these few soldiers would stand against the mighty burnt orange horde and their endless reinforcements.

The Black sheep were able to jump to an early 7-2 lead utilizing advanced tactics such as; we have no subs let's run zone, I've got an idea...let's put the tall, fast, young guy in the back, and hey...there's an open guy I'll throw it to him.

The route was on! There's no stopping us now!!! The black sheep were jubilant...perhaps too early. For the burnt orange horde was led by a somewhat competent leader and multiple league champion, Cangi. In a move to be jeered by all, Cangi, citing "league rules", informed us we'd have to play a man down.

What's that you say? We need to follow the rules of the league? And so 6 members of the original 8 took the field for the opening point of the first half. I can't recall the details of what transpired. The fog of war was heavy that evening...probably caused from hypoxia of being fat and out of shape.

But remember this...unlike the Spartan legend these 8 hero's returned home victorious. 13-11

Dirt wins third in a row with an impressive win over Rediculous

In a match-up between two teams both loaded with high school players, Hurt by Dirt came out on top 13-3 by playing dominate defense and being patient on offense. The intensity level was high before the game for Dirt, especially amongst their high schoolers, due to the prospect of seeing how they matched up against the other high schoolers and because most people (except Kebo) were picking Rediculous to pull off the up set.

Dirt was able to keep up the intensity and come up with their third win in a row. Dirt�s MDP�s of the game were Lauren and Matt for their excellent defense and always being able to get open on offense.

Highlights from the game for Dirt included a great last second D in the end zone by Tyler, a deep flick by Scott to Matt for a score, and Lauren having an awesome catch in the end zone against Cobb.

Hurt by Dirt continues to get improve and gel well together and hopes to continue their winning streak to four after the holidays.

Go Hurt by Dirt!

Good Game Rediculous and happy holidays everybody.

Black goes down to Purple

The Sheep Lose to the Rain on 12/19/08

Clearly it was the lack of estrogen that caused the Black Sheep to lose last week - we were missing Nicole, Candace, AND Clancy.

Going down 7-1 at half, Black was gelling better in the second half but still couldn't make up the deficit. Purple had great offensive flow. Amanda and Emily were contributing with a lot of continue catches to keep the disc alive. Purple's handlers were aggressive against the zone Ds. Purple had a lot of good connections down the force side line, for scores or otherwise. On defense Purple was athletic, making the Sheep work to get open.

Meanwhile the Sheep had one sub and took a little bit to get moving. On the plus side, everyone was touching the disc and we got to run ho stack and some zone Ds. Tommy threw his first assist, Tom had a sweet hammer, Vav threw some swilly hucks, the Joshs kept the disc moving and played strong D, Alex ran his butt off in the cup, and Britt was huge as part of the wall. Black's defense improved as we mixed things up and cut down on the Rain's hucks. Even though the score wasn't what we were looking for, we were playing much more consistently than the week prior. Sheep - great hustle! Purple - good game.

Lame name
Purple Rain
Good game

As an added bonus, I don't think anyone threw up.

Have a great holiday and we'll see you back in January.

Hurt by Dirt continues to roll, taking out REDICULUS 13 - 3.

Dirt came out of the blocks fast and furious against REDICULUS on Friday, pushing a brand of offense they are calling "The Flying Scotty" that has defenses as confused as Scotty's own pre-game cheers. Featuring a mix of players that fall both on the long side of middle aged and the short side of the legal drinking age, Dirt's co captains Scotty and Lauren have molded and blended talents to create what most onlookers are calling a potential juggernaut. Dirt superstar LJ "Crazy Legs" Reeves was quoted after the game saying "I just chuck the dang disk up and someone catches it. Actually, most of the time my eyes are closed." A quick look at the stats proved his point � every player on the Dirt roster has scored at least once.

Dirt's patented Zone defense proved a tough nut for REDICULUS to crack, covering the red offense like a � big � brown � wave, effectively shutting down the throwing lanes on two fields at once, delaying the Green - Yellow game for 45 minutes. Employing the BK track team specifically to run, the Dirt cup smothered the RED handlers like an over protective grandmother. At one point, Dirt inserted the feared "Geezer lineup plus Jimmy", a legendary lineup that totals a combined age of 457 years old (LJ was indeed horrified to be included in the Geezer lineup and declined comment.) The Geezers applied a zone so slow moving that REDICULUS was caught completed off guard and immediately turned the disk over. The resulting equally slow moving offense scored inside of three tosses.

After the game, Scotty Collins was quoted as saying "Yes we have speed in Bell, Gardner, Simons. We have the experience in D-Large, Butler, Lauren, LJ, Victor. But in reality, it is the knee high socks from the DiPaolo's that have inspired this winning streak."