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St Augustine Beach Ultimate League
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Welcome to JAXUL: Ultimate in Jacksonville, FL!!
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| Gabe causese Griff to blow a late lead against Pain |
 Griff writes "Gabriel Treesh put in the worst Ultimate performance of all time in a tough loss to Royal Pain. He caused Griff to repeatedly throw the disc straight into TJ's hand or out of bounds. He also caused Dan West to be taller than any healthy player for the Big Bad Discs Poppin' Cherries. Allissia's shorts also caused Gabe to make other players distracted throughout the game. Gabe even caused JKim to arrive to kick start Royal Pain's late 6-1 run."
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| Yo Momma's So Dumb, the Royal Gangstas stabbed Gang Green in a shoot-out! |
uzzmeister writes "Pumped up and ready to fly, Dragon and the Painful Posse stared Gang Green (minus Scott Paulick) down nearly touching eyelashes because the fields were so short. The city had gone wrong along with the swine flu and there stood the Vicious Blue Bunny, ready to give Gang Green their Painicilin.
It was announced a few days before the game that superstar, TJ, one of the two Asians from Rock Stock (JKim), Tony, Zack, and Greg would be MIA. The news brought a lot of pain--royally--to the Vicious Blue Bunny.. But as Royal Pain! gathered together for their weekly secret ritual, they found that the skies had dropped them a nice gift: Jeremy Kim. Additionally, with the DiPaolos back and ready for action, high spirits broke out and Pain! made the first score.
As the sun went down, and the lights never turned on (freakin City!), the score remained close by a point or two. Everyone kept their cool, but Blue kept it even cooler. Wild applauds made it seem like there was thunder and lightning when females Amanda Gerdeman and Sarah Pain!ter scored three points for Royal Pain!; Matt, Sara, and Damien with their--as always--amazing D's... but it's not a surprise. D is, after all, their last initial.
With Koop, JKim, and newcomer Rob Knox doing some awesome handling, and D-West and Corey playing their deeps like SCUBA diving in the Great Blue Hole in Belize, Pain! was able to take half at 7-4, and with a seemingly better back, Mr. Dan Fantastic West and his gangly arms scored big resulting in a 12-10 win. "Aw, hail!" is what she said.
Mad props to Gang Green members, Heather for her awesome D's, and Beth and Crystal for running their legs out! Special thanks to all who came out. I think the MVP goes out to EVERYONE for playing hard and having dat team spirit, yo.
Matt.... I'd still like to read your special quotes from that game besides the "...Vicious Blue Bunny assuring the Green Midgets a painful game and getting royally....fannihilated" quote.
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Posted by -lj- on Monday, May 04 @ 11:23:16 EDT (49 reads)(comments? | Score: 5) |
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| Royal Pain fights off the New Kids |
Matthew writes "On a cold spring day, the mighty warriors of Royal Pain, led by Co-captains Dan ‘Garlic’ West and Uzzi ‘Ninja’ Tayag met the powerful … New kids on the Block?
Laugh if you must, but the New Kids jumped out to a 2 – 0 lead, in what Royal superstar TJ referred to as a huck-a-pedia. “Upwind, down wind, cross wind, the kids were letting it fly like a momma duck throw the chicks out of the nest” TJ was quoted as saying after the game. After the initial assault, the Painful man-to-man ‘No Huck’ defense was applied with devastating results, and the Royal Painsters jumped out to a 7 – 3 halftime lead, with the beautiful and athletic Sara “My Husband is a stud!” DiPaolo scoring often, although a couple bonked her on the … chest … and got away.
The second half was a different game, as the New Kids came roaring back with Cobb, Scotty, and Butler singing and dancing down the field with:
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
The Right Stuff”
See More >>> for the exciting conclusion to this story ..."
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| Royal Pain can’t beat the Recession … Yet |
Matthew writes "Royal Pain, predicted by this unbiased author to finish atop the league this season, started quick but could not shake the Recession for their first loss of the season. A high flying Goose, a laser throwing Rook, and a rolling, tumbling, stumbling, tackling (yes, he took me out!) Daryl carried the day in the end. *** On a side note League commissioner LJ tried to get Daryl to choose a darker color shirt at Mandy’s urging (apparently she does the laundry) but he insisted on white!!! Surely Daryl will be looking a little dingy by league end … considering his style of play.
Captain Daniel West’s patented ‘Garlic Lid’ offense showed signs of spark throughout the match, creating waves of fear in the rest of the league as well as the undead community. “We’ve got the dough and we’ve got the butter. Once the team embraces the garlic, we’ve got some damn good garlic bread!!” West was quoted after the game. Royal Pain highlights from the match included scores by all of the Royal pain women, co-captain Uzzi actually seen leaving her feet to make a catch, Damien not getting angry, and some really cool guy in awesome socks making defensive play after defensive play.
Next up for Pain is the Black team. Pain looks to add superstar in the making TJ to the lineup this week, who apparently could not find the field last week. Also, Dan West is upping the ante on the offense. “I’ve brought in the garlic bread, it is now time for the dreaded ‘Cesear Salad of Doom’” a very spooky West bellowed in a recent interview.
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| Hurt by Dirt captures Second in a hard fought One Game match |
dipaolo2000 writes "In what many commentators are calling one of the classic battles of this century, Blue edged out the crowd favorite Hurt By Dirt in the closing moments of the one day classic. Dirt was lead heroically by Captain Scotty C. who by all accounts was the best player on the field that night. “Normally you can’t slide a piece of paper under Scotty when he jumps” noted veteran Victor “Show Dog” Kemp, but “today he was out jumping everyone.” Indeed, Scotty’s Herculean effort helped to push the whole team on, with Dirt grabbing an early 7 – 4 lead at the break. “We were all so distracted by Scotty’s Mohawk hairdo, that we forgot about the enormity of the game and just played” recalled Dan ‘D-Large’ large. (Unfortunately, this reporter has learned that Scotty C. looked in the mirror Friday morning, saw what his hair actually looked like, and immediately shaved it off.)
Blue came crashing back in the second half, led by their superstars who are, admittedly by this author, pretty good. It was a seesaw battle as both teams traded shots. Sara “Ironman in training” DiPaolo scored multiple points, including two that bounced off Michael “Shifty” Butler’s hands. ** Butler claims it was part of his plan to get more teammates involved. ** Dirt was given two boosts of adrenaline in the second half. The first, with the return of Lauren “Freestyle” Petit from a grueling 12 hour test in which she answered both sides of the question “To Be, or Not To Be” (she received a B+.) The second, and more shocking, was when all star handler LJ “Crazy Legs” Reeves moved out to the field to Pop. “The offense was getting out of sync and needed a spark” commented LJ “and the way Scotty was jumping, I thought I might catch some of that air.” Sadly, it wasn’t the air, as LJ failed to produce more then an 8 inch vertical jump.
In the end, Blue was able to beat the vaunted Dirty Zone for the winning score. Scotty’s flying wedge, and a high flying Scotty C. himself could not muster enough points to pull through. On two related notes, Matthew “Knee Socks” DiPaolo was held scoreless for the first time this season. Also, Patrick “Jailbird” Gardner, superstar in training, was hobbled by a sore ankle and some sort of ‘authority conflict.’ Dirt is hoping both players with follow Scotty’s lead and step up their game for the season finale."
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7- Day Weather
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